Harry Potter and his French Maid
by Essenity
Summary: Exactly why is Draco Malfoy dressed as a French Maid and serving Harry Potter of all people? And why is it always a broom closet? HPDM Slash. OOC, seventh year but HPB never happened.


**Author's Notes-** Like usual, I just couldn't ignore this little plot.

**Disclaimer-** HP and co remains the property of JKR.This isa totally crazy plot written up just purely for amusement.

**Summary**-Exactly why is Draco Malfoy dressed as a French Maid and serving Harry Potter of all people? And why is it always a broom closet? 

**Warnings-** OOC-ness. HP6 never happened. This story starts off from beginning of seventh year. Draco x Harry.

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**Harry Potter and his French Maid-****Stage One**

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When Draco Malfoy agreed to attend the Prefect's end of year party at the end of sixth year, he did not expect to get drunk and then… _bullied_ into 'agreeing' to be Harry Potter's _French Maid_ for all of seventh year.

Now it's nothing dodgy like _some_ people are thinking. Not implying that any of you readers have dodgy minds or anything even remotely like that. I mean we haven't even got to the _real dodgy _bits.

Firstly, it was _Dumbledore_ who suggested to the Prefects to have an end of year party to thank them for all their hard work throughout the year. And we all know it was Dumbledore who provided the room, the free food and the strange combinations of drinks.

Secondly, it was Professor Snape who _sweet-talked_ Draco into drinking when Draco had calmly stated very obviously that he was _not_ there to have fun but rather because his own _father_ Lucius Malfoy had _tricked _Draco into agreeing to attend the party and Draco would _not_ drink a drop of alcohol _or_ try any of the drugs provided. Not that I'm saying there were drugs… oh whom am I trying to kid? Plenty of alcohol, drugs and meths. Remember, drugs are cheap. But meths are cheaper.

Moving on now.

Thirdly, it was Lucius Malfoy _himself_ who had initiated the game of… Drink, Dare and Do. It was really a simple game, _drink_ alcohol, accept the _dare_ and then proceed to _do_ the dare. God only knows what the hell Lucius Malfoy was doing at Hogwarts at that particular time of the year. I mean did you read about the newspaper advertisements Lord Voldemort put up for recruiting Death Eaters?

Apparently Lucius had Slytherin-talked his boss into letting him 'visit' Hogwarts with the lie: "I'm merely just going to… 'Talent-spot' new, fresh, simple-minded youth for the next generation Death Eaters."

So says the _Whichly Gossip_. _Witch To-Date_ was busy feasting on the other latest gossip: 'The Boy-Who-Lived' was now 'The Boy-Who-Turned-Gay-Because-Of-Voldemort'.

No, seriously, I'm not kidding! Here's an exert:

Lyke omg! Did you _hear_ about Harry Potter! Lyke eek! To-tal-li kyuute news reached our wunnerful editor! Gals, our fave idol… is GaY! (Insert squeal here). During Harry-babie's 6th year hols one of our highly respected Harry Potter stalkers followed Harry into a… _Strip Club_! Lyke a **_GaY_**_ Strip Club_! Oh there was absolutely NO stripping involved of course! All Harry-darhling did was sing out his sweet lil' heart to…

I think we can stop there, no point going on agree? Now here's a _translated_ version to suit those who do not understand Harry-fan-ese. Thankfully we have a person who understands fan talk.

Like wow, has anyone heard about the latest Harry Potter gossip? It's amazingly interesting. And according to fans, the very 'cute' news reached the ears of their wonderful editor. (Pfft, some editor she is…). Girls, our all time favourite idol is gay. During Harry Potter's sixth year holidays, one ofour 'highly-respected' Harry Potter _'stalkers'_ followed Harry into a Muggle Gay strip club where there was no stripping from his part but plenty of singing.

Right enough of that, we're getting very off track yes? Back to Lucius Malfoy, he had set up that dare (which is not important because it is the outcome of the dare that is) and the consequences for Draco.

Draco-in lack of a better word-chickened out and ended up having to agree to be_ Harry Potter's_ _own Personal French Maid _for the whole of seventh year. Of course at that time, Lucius Malfoy had planned it out perfectly so that Lucius could have it his way and Draco couldn't do anything to back out as he had sworn to the Wizard's Oath while he was totally drunk.

We all know Lucius had his reasons and wanting his only son and heir to the Malfoy fortune to fall in love with Harry Potter was one of them. Only God knows why.

Actually now that we speak of it, I don't think _anyone_ knows _why_ Lucius wants his son to be Harry Potter's bitch. Urh, I mean lover.

Ahh… the power of true love…

Um yes, back to the point of this little chapter.

This was just the beginning to why the Gryffindors suddenly had a Slytherin called Draco Malfoy dressed in a French Maid outfit, bending to every single one of Harry Potter's wish and carrying out Harry's requests with a very, very un-Malfoy-like smile of _innocence_. I swear that smile is so amazing. You would never believe a Malfoy could smile like that!

Oh and I do not think we can ignore the bits and pieces of how Draco and Harry ended up kissing their faces off each other and almost choking each other with their tongues.

Curiosity killed the cat. What will happen to you?

Does anyone happen to know why it's always nearly a broom closet where writers have their characters go at each other like rabbits in mating season?

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**Continue? Game Over?**

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**Author's Notes-** Well what did you think? If I am wasting time writing this then say so because this isn't going to be updated unless I get responses.

Please review.


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